Marilee's 83rd birthday - December 4, 2010

It's been a challenging year with Marilee in our home.  Despite my last post she challenges Ralph in ways no mother should be allowed to an adult child.  I find it hard to constantly swallow and ignore many of her comments that wreak havoc in our lives all because she is miserable and aging.  It's really amazing how different some people are about the this process.  I see some that are so active you don't even know their age and then you have those who allow it to consume them.  It makes you sit back and realize this is not what you want or hope for in the future. 

Friendships are an important key in life that should never replace the true family yet it's good to have friends.  Family gatherings should not be an appointed time that is scheduled as it takes away what family is mean't to be close.  Even though I have many friends my family is the most important aspect of my life and despite the fact our sons are grown and have moved on personally in marriage, relationships they will never know what this is truly like until they have families of their own.  There is no substitution for the real family. 

As 2010 closes gives the reality that time moves on and it moves on quickly.  Living each day fully and not wasting time has always been my mantra.  I also make sure to make time for friends but family is the ultimate.  I'm thankful for the changes that have occurred with Nathan and Krista and how our lives have meshed and become closer.  It's hard to believe another wedding is a mere 6 months away and excited for Nathan at this new chapter in his life.  I also relish Gabe's time in college and pray for his continued success in school.

Thanksgiving Eve - November 24, 2010

Thanksgiving reminds us the most important thing in life is being with family.  I'm very thankful for our family and having Gabe home from college has been a joy despite his typical off beat schedule of hanging out with friends all hours of the night.  I've watched him grow tremendously in the first semester into a confident and caring young man.  His goal oriented nature is constantly reassessing what he would like to do even with transferring from Radford to Northern Virginia Community College next semester.  He is more open to applying to other schools for next fall and expanding his horizons.

As I end this evening before Thanksgiving I started preparing items for dinner tomorrow to lessen the load of the 9 course meal.  I've taken over the preparation of Thanksgiving since the passing of my father in law 5 years ago which means I cook Thanksgiving and Christmas dinner.  I believe my daughter in laws will want to join in the fun and contribute to practicing their own culinary works some day. 

I've also experienced what it's like to have my mother in law live in our home for the past 4 years.  While most will share they couldn't do what I'm doing there aren't many safe options for the elderly as I've discovered in caring for my mother in law through many of her medical crisis two being falls that occurred 3 months apart with this latest fall resulting in 7 staples in her head.  It's hard to watch her health deterioate as I feel for Ralph who is clinging to the one parent he still has living.  Where I lost my father at age 8 and 30 respectively then my Mom when I was 48.  It's never easy no matter how you handle it.  I know one thing I've become fiercely protective of my mother in laws rights and realize she doesn't advocate for herself and when people age family is important in this area.  Marilee (my mother in law) has suffered depression most of her life due to her childhood which she has never released but feel confident the past 4 years have served her well being in our home.  She has seen a side of life with our family that has hopefully given her a sense of peace knowing that her only child has been well cared for and will be for the rest of our natural lives.

In closing, Thanksgiving is not just a holiday it's a reminder.  Blessings to all.

Transistions!

College has been a good transition for Gabe but also has offered him an opportunity to think about his future seriously.  While Gabe has always accepted change with excited and adventure he quickly discovered Radford isn't his school of choice citing it's too much a party school.  Even though he wants to attend Virginia Tech as many of his friends and even best friend attend there he likes the environment better.  Without much delay Gabe called us and shared this new decision he made that he would finish at Radford this semester and attend Northern Virginia Community College in the Spring.  He plans to work so he can save money then work again as a Manager of our pool and Coach swim team.  He and Sean have plans to live off campus.  Gabe has been accepted at Nova.  He has never wasted time when his mind is made up.  Gabe will be successful, plus he is frugal and doesn't want to waste money on another semester at Radford.  He has been tripled to a room where the guys are constantly going out at night and even though he gets along fine with them but finds the whole atmosphere not conducive to his nature.  We are happy he knows what he wants and will support him in these decisions.

Gabe's 19th Birthday today, September 1, 2010

19 years ago today the Redskins were kicking off against the Detroit Lions while the nurses prepared me for a c-section.  Ralph video-taped me claiming the Redskins would win this first game and go to the Super Bowl.  The Redskins won 45-0 and went on  to win the Super Bowl.  We celebrate Gabe's big day and remember his birthday fondly. 

Freshman year at Radford for Gabe

Gabe will officially start practice today despite being at Radford a week already.  He moved in with Chris (a senior) from the football team living in off campus housing and getting a taste of college already.  Of course, Gabe is not a stranger to college having his two older brothers Adam & Nathan 10 years before him.  He experienced and even took a train down to college on his own in earlier years.  Gabe will be challenged for his coveted Q.B. position which he has played so well for many years and has the drive for that success.  We wish him only the best and safety on the field as the rest of the team.  He has made us proud with his character and initiative to be the best and hope he carries this into his studies at Radford.  This will be an amazing year of growth.

Also, we are proud of our daughter in law Hilary for completing her graduate degree online at Virginia Tech in Technology in Education.  Gabe actually wants to transfer to Va. Tech in a year.  It's nice to have a techno savvy family member now.  The reason for this blog is I have read Hilary's blog many times and enjoy what she writes and thought this would make a great communication tool and offer me the opportunity to keep updates available for all.  Adam started grad classes through the American Military University online and has two under his belt.  Due to work schedule he will take a break from classes for the time being and start up again within the year. 

Marilee health continues to be a challenge.  Recently after having a stent put in a artery around the heart she started having bleeding issues into her leg from the incision sight.  Due to her inability to take coumadin because of it's side effects that cause bleeding into the intestines she is at risk for a stroke as a blood clot is on the heart.  She will be coming home at the end of next week and require round the clock nursing care.  Our prayer is she is able to have some quality of life which has been the mission all along.